Common ground - One way to a new friend
Friends are important to our lives in so many ways. The combination of the pandemic and our electronic society where your eyes spend a huge amount of time focused on a screen of some type have spawned an epidemic of loneliness that has profound mental and physical implications for us as individuals and society at large.
One great way to find, make and nurture a new friendship is to find someone with a common passion or level of fanaticism that matches your own on a particular topic or pastime. To illustrate, I’m a passionate fly fisherman and a hobbyist level futurist. There are a number of things that I care about in between those physical and cerebral activities, but these will work as examples.
The futurist passion is a tough one. I have to take a risk at a cocktail party or other event and throw out something for reaction. Rather than talking about the lastest movie, I might throw out quantum computing or unlimited energy impacts on the future. Reactions range from a thud or blank stare to someone with an equal or greater interest in all things future. I have several friends that came out of those conversations, and the interaction greatly improves my overall being.
Fly fishing is much easier. If I’m on a river, lake, or saltwater environment, those other people carrying fly rods are all fair game, and the comraderie and openness is remarkable. When traveling, its east to spot luggage holding fly fishing gear, tan lines, logoed clothing; all become conversation starters. These indicators may all be reasons I have more fly fishing than futurist friends.
Why is this a great method? Here are a few thoughts to consider:
Starting point: If you know you share a passion, its an easy conversation starter with little risk of embarrassment or social blunder.
Immediate basis for trust: I’ve met few fly fishing people who aren’t nice human beings. Henry Winkler (The Fonz) even wrote a book about never meeting an idiot on the river, not sure about the never word, but you get the idea.
Shared experiences and vocabulary: With any commonly shared topic, there is an immediate connection and basis of knowledge that quickly manifests. If there are other people around, it can be fun to watch the other reactions to what sounds like a foreign language.
Shared travel: For physical based activities, there is usually multiple destinations where you’ve maybe crossed paths. For the fly fishing community, Montana is a big place that is reachable and affordable by most, and can provide hours of conversation all by itself.
Shared future: Bucketlists are great topics – where do you aspire to pursue your passion? Is it visiting Cooperstown if you are a baseball afficionado, Iceland if you want to see the Northern lights, or the small country of Kiribas in the south pacific that has the largest fly fishing lagoon in the world…..
I’m the co-founder of a company that is making it easier to find, build and maintain deep personal friends, those people who you want to know for decades and have your back. I welcome any and all ideas for how to make friending a better process. If you are a fly fisherman or budding futurist, I’d love to connect as well! Pete O’Dell pete@perdata.ai